I questioned myself always. What is love? How does it feel to be in love? I never believed in love and I thought love is just the waste of time. Love is nothing but an emotional support, a need that people have. Love, I thought, is just something, like a name given to a relationship. Love was just a four letter word that is most highly overrated after the Fuck word of course. Love love love. . .I used to be crazy when hear that people are in love and are going crazy for it. The day I met you things changed. I think I was in love with you.
I loved talking to you. You were the first thought in the morning and were always there on my mind. You were the person I ever thought of being with. If I didn't see you for a day, I felt incomplete. At times it was difficult for me to breathe, it was difficult to cry, to laugh, to eat, to sleep and everything that is sooo easy to do otherwise. When you didn't talked fora day I cried, I cried out loud, without being aware of the reason. I think I was afraid of losing you. I think I was worried about losing you. I think I was worried that what if you don't call me the next day. My heart wanted you always, it urged for you always. I was going crazy for you.
At times, I used to be in my thoughts, listening to one single number playing in my ears. Listening to the favorite line. And the words that make me feel your presence. It went on and on and on. . .I was awake whole night, I was awake always, I wanted to be with you always. I wanted the sleep to fly away so I can think about you. When it rained. . .I thought if you were here. . .If you were with me. . .I would have played with raindrops, splashed them on your face and would have run away. You were with me when it rained. When it was cold. . .tooo cold. . .I saw you holding my hands, walking on the street, with dim lights, chilled chilly breeze. . .I was freezing, so were you. But I just saw you and nothing else. I reached home in no time. It was difficult to say good bye. But you left. I was awake, the whole night, thinking about you, thinking about the weather, thinking how beautiful the world is, thinking, just thinking something, not wanted to go to sleep and everything that is sooo easy to do otherwise.
I felt different, I felt a different person, I felt I am an angel, I am an angel to love you, I felt you are a saviour to save me from this world, and make me yours. I felt different. I never felt that before. I felt, I felt I am a bird who can fly the world, I felt like a kid, so pure and innocent, I felt like the rose water that makes you feel fresh, I felt like a rose, I felt like a petal . I was a rose. I felt so human. I was in love. . . Oh God. . .I was in love. I could feel the summers, the sun, the moon, the breeze, the wait, the love! I could feel the love! Yes, I was in love! I was happy, I was laughing, I was dancing, I was singing, I was going crazy, I was jumping, I was playing, I was imagining.
I was in Love!! I was in love with you!
I dreamed you and me. I dreamed US. I dreamed about us. Yes I saw you and
I saw me. . .
I saw us walking down, I saw us together, I saw us playing hide and seek, I saw us in the moon, I saw us in the sun, in the trees, the leaves, in the pictures, I saw us in the future!! I saw the home, I saw the kitchen, I saw the love. . .I saw more love. . .and love. . .only love. . . because I saw us! Wow. I saw you and me. I was in love. I was dancing, I was singing! I danced all over the place, I danced myself. I was excited to see you the next day. I was excited to tell you that now I can be you and you can be me and we can be us. I was excited, still singing and dancing, dancing all over the place.
By that time a warden comes to the room and says to me,‘Hey mad girl, he is no more. He died. Why do you keep repeating the same thing every night? God, your generation kids are really crazy. Come, eat something, you haven't eaten for two days, even you want to die or what?’
What? I told the warden at the Asylum. I said he is coming to pick me up. He is coming in no time. He will come for sure, and I cried and cried. I cried. I still danced, I clapped, I called your name. . .’Aryan, Aryan. . .Aryan. . .
Aryan, I wish I could have told you how much I loved you. Why didn't you take me with you? Why did you go alone? I wish if I could have let you know.. that my life begins with you and ends before you.
I miss you in me. I am missing you in Me!! But Aryan I promise. . .if I meet you the next time . . .I won't cry.. I promise. . .I will listen to you. . . I promise, I will receive your call always, and will reply to your text. I promise Aryan I won't be angry at you, I promise I will eat at the restaurant you like, I promise Aryan, I won't leave you . I promise! I promise everything, except the fact that I can't stop loving you. Because I love you.
I am missing you in me!!
P.S: Dedicated for people who are in love. This is dedicated to people who lost their loved ones before even letting them know that they were loved by you.This is just for love. Just say it out to people whom you love. Love needs to be expressed. Love is the life, believe me it is!